


Forgive Me

by CourtesyTrefflin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Forgiveness, Gen, Post-Episode: s04e15 Deception, Post-Rako Hardeen Arc (Star Wars: Clone Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:02:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29095464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourtesyTrefflin/pseuds/CourtesyTrefflin
Summary: After faking his death, Obi-Wan Kenobi soon realizes that he has much penance to do. He hurt many of his close friends, none of whom are quick to forgive him. Or, the 5 times Obi-Wan asks forgiveness, and the 1 time he actually gets it.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Satine Kryze, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 13
Kudos: 68





	Forgive Me

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic was inspired by someone who was commenting on how Cody reacted after the Deception arc. So, I decided to write something where Obi-Wan asks his forgiveness, in addition to forgiveness from some of the others he'd wronged and this story was born! I hope you enjoy it! :D

Two days. It's been two days since Obi-Wan returned to Coruscant after resolving the plot against the Chancellor. Anakin's been avoiding him almost the entire time. When he sees him, he doesn't speak unless he must. Obi-Wan thinks he deserves it, but it still hurts to see how openly and rapidly everything changed. He's known for a while that their relationship has been deteriorating, but this was much too quickly.

He should – he should try to talk to Anakin, explain everything, and apologize. If he wants to fix things – he _does_ – then an apology is definitely in order. First, Obi-Wan has to find his former Padawan. If he's not in his and Ahsoka's apartment, then he might be sparring. And on that note, it's not just Anakin he needs to apologize too. He needs to talk to Ahsoka. After he'd undergone the retransformation, she'd spoken to him briefly, though her voice was cool and detached. It didn't take an expert to know that she's upset.

He needs to find and speak to _both_ of them. Even after making the resolution, Obi-Wan ends up putting it off for several hours. He tries to reason that he's busy, but he can't deny feeling inexplicably nervous. But he's never been known for putting things off. That would be the easy way, and Obi-Wan doesn't take the easy way out. To do so now, especially, would be a great disservice to both Anakin and Ahsoka.

He goes to their apartment first – it's only a short distance from his own – but they're not there, so he heads to the training rooms. He shouldn't have accepted the mission, and he _certainly_ should not have agreed to keep the truth from Anakin, even if it was the best way. Yes, it would have been very risky otherwise, but Obi-Wan knows how it looks; it looks like he didn't trust his former Padawan. That's not the message he'd meant to send. It's so far from the truth. He does trust Anakin, with his life, if necessary. Anakin's like his brother, his son. He loves him, much as he is unwilling to admit it.

Obi-Wan shakes himself out of his thoughts as he steps into the training room. Knights are sparring with their Padawans or each other. Across the room, he spies the familiar forms of Anakin and Ahsoka, blue and green lightsabers clashing as they fight. He moves to the side, standing there and watching them. It's almost soothing to watch; they move completely in sync, almost as through engaging in a fierce dance with one another.

It ends only minutes after he arrives when Anakin manages to disarm Ahsoka. He extends a hand to pull her to her feet. "That's enough for today, Snips, wouldn't you say?" his voice is teasing, though Obi-Wan senses an underlying hint of something else, something he can't quite name.

Ahsoka snorts, clipping her lightsabers back in place. "Master, 'enough' was an hour ago." She shakes her head peering up at him. Obi-Wan can't see her face, but he can feel her concern echoing softly into the Force. "You can't continue like this, Skyguy." The firmness in her voice is underlined by a sense of uncertainty.

Anakin laughs mirthlessly. "Just drop it," he orders. "There's nothing to discuss." He turns sharply, freezing in place when he sees Obi-Wan, a myriad of emotions flickering through his blue eyes. Just as suddenly, they harden into a frigid mask. Pointedly looking away, he stalks towards the exit.

Ahsoka watches him go, before she turns towards Obi-Wan. "Did you need something?" she asks, not unkindly, though there's a distinctly unfriendly note.

"No, nothing," Obi-Wan admits. "I just wanted to talk to both of you. I know – I know that Anakin is upset with me. You are too, and you have every right to me."

Ahsoka sighs, blue eyes seemingly weary as they flick down to the floor. "We should have this conversation elsewhere."

"My apartment?"

She nods silently, and they make their way through the Temple towards Obi-Wan's apartment. Anakin never really moved out, to be honest. He still keeps some of his possessions in there, and Obi-Wan hasn't demanded that he remove them. When Anakin completely moves out, it will disconnect them even further, and Obi-Wan doesn't want that.

Obi-Wan enters the code, opening the door to let Ahsoka inside. Her movements are stiff as she steps into the living room and sits down on a couch. Obi-Wan seats himself opposite her. The quiet drags on for a minute or two until Ahsoka breaks it. "I know what you're going to say," she finally tells him. "You'll say that what you did was necessary, that it was justified, because you were protecting the Chancellor."

"You disagree?" he raises an eyebrow, careful to keep his tone gentle so as not to give the impression that he's not going to listen to her.

"No," she replies haltingly. "I – I understand why you did it, but…" Her voice trails off, and she seems troubled, as though reliving a particularly difficult memory. "Do you have any idea how hard it was?" she finally asks, expression nearly pleading. "Do you know how much Anakin has been affected by this?"

"I knew it would be hard," he admits. "Your reactions, Anakin's in particular, were important."

"And I'm not disputing that, but you could have told us after. We're careful, Master Obi-Wan. We wouldn't have let anyone know." Her distress is barely being concealed, but despite her words, Obi-Wan feels part of himself relax. For the first time since he returned, Ahsoka used his first name rather than his last name. Maybe he can still fix this.

Obi-Wan exhales heavily. "I don't know what to tell you," he confesses. "I don't want to sound like I'm hiding behind the Council, but we agreed it would be best. They didn't want to take the risk that the word would slip out, and Dooku would learn of my identity."

"Just… talk to Anakin," she requests, more like _demands_. "You have no idea how much he's been hurting. He's hardly eating or sleeping… and I'm worried about him. He's shutting himself out." There's something else, but she doesn't continue. Something happened, something very personal. Ahsoka clearly has little intention of sharing with him, and to be honest, he hardly wants to pry. That's – that's worse than he'd expected, though he doesn't even know what he had been expecting. Just… not that.

"I'll talk to him," Obi-Wan promises. And he _will_. He owes it to the boy he watched become a man to at least do right by what they'd had.

"You better," Ahsoka replies determinedly. "If – if he doesn't let this go, I don't know what will happen to him. He talked about leaving the Order." She watches him intently gauging his reaction to her words.

He doesn't even know what to say to that; he's completely floored. Anakin leaving the Order? Giving up his dream to be a Jedi? It doesn't even sound realistic, but Ahsoka has no reason to lie to him. There's a silent understanding which passes between them before Ahsoka really relaxes, finally able to accept that Obi-Wan will take care of Anakin.

"Can you forgive me for deceiving you?" Obi-Wan questions as a few minutes go by.

Ahsoka is quiet for a long moment, looking down at the carpet before meeting his gaze. "I saw him _cry_ ," she whispers, shaking her head. "I – I'm sorry. I can't forgive you. Not quite yet." She gives him a sad smile, one which holds much more pain than she should even know.

Obi-Wan feels a sting of something – he can't find a name for the emotion. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but this is a tad too close to rejection, and it _hurts_. He doesn't let it show, burying the emotions deep inside. Clearly, he has a lot of penance to do. "I understand," he assures her, pausing before he continues, "I suppose I should go see what Anakin is doing."

"You do that," Ahsoka nods. "I'll be in the Archives."

***

Obi-Wan takes a fortifying breath before knocking on Anakin's and Ahsoka's apartment door. He can sense Anakin inside, and he knows this won't be an easy conversation. Their bond is completely closed off, so he can't gauge his former Padawan's emotional status. Well, there's no time like the present. This conversation was going to happen sooner or later, and Obi-Wan personally prefers the former.

He's waiting for around ten minutes – and he has no doubt that it's intentional – before Anakin opens the door, eyes narrowed. "Why Master Kenobi, what brings you to my door?" Anakin forces a fake smile, though his eyes promise that the visit will be far from pleasant.

His attitude is already giving Obi-Wan a headache. "Anakin," he admonishes. "I know you're upset but –"

"Upset?" Anakin interrupts, face twisting into a scowl. " _Upset?!_ Is that what you think it is?"

He wasn't ready to deal with this, especially not so soon after talking to Ahsoka, but it's too late now. He steps forward, forcing Anakin to take a step back and let him in. This will be a violent argument more than likely, at least judging from Anakin's current behavior, and Obi-Wan doesn't want half the Temple to hear it.

"What would you call it?" he counters, keeping his voice even.

Anakin seems momentarily dumbstruck by the question because his expression goes completely blank. "Try _hurt_ ," he finally spits, and if looks could kill, Obi-Wan is relatively certain that the angry glare being fixed on him would have him lifeless. "You didn't even care, and you still don't! You have no idea what it did to me to think you were _dead!_ "

"No, I don't know," Obi-Wan agrees. "That's why I'm here. I want to understand. Anakin, I know you're hurt, but I didn't have a choice."

"I don't want to hear more excuses!" Anakin shouts. "You have no right to ask me anything after what you did." He's completely livid, but it's nothing Obi-Wan hasn't dealt with in the past. Anakin always was somewhat prone to temper tantrums, not that he'd label this as one. His – his brother has every right to be angry.

"Maybe not," Obi-Wan finally concedes, unable to completely stop the hurt from flashing across his face. "I did what I had to do. I was protecting the _Chancellor_." He's careful to emphasize that, knowing how much respect Anakin holds for the older man.

"You didn't trust me," Anakin accuses, crossing his arms. "You _lied_ to me. You can't just come in here and expect everything to be fine. How do you think I can trust you if you could do something like this?"

"Of course, I trust you," Obi-Wan argues. "Not one person outside the Council knew what was happening. It was too big a risk to take. What do you think would have happened if Dooku had found out I was there?" If nothing else, he can make Anakin understand why it was necessary, not that he doesn't already know. Obi-Wan just needs to remind him enough that he lets this go. Besides, after what happened, it's pretty obvious that Anakin won't let anything go at least until he has a chance to scream at Obi-Wan.

Anakin's expression goes from openly furious to ice in a millisecond. "Do you _really_ think so low of me that you believe I might have accidentally endangered your life, when I would have willingly taken the shot if it meant you'd still be alive?"

"That's not what I meant," Obi-Wan protests, feeling his frustration rise. "Obviously, you wouldn't have intentionally endangered me."

"Then why didn't you tell me?" Anakin demands. His body is rigid with tension, and Obi-Wan knows that if he doesn't like the answer – he probably won't – then there will be yet another explosion. Again.

"Everyone knows how close we are," Obi-Wan explains, trying to remain patient. If he gets upset, that will only make the situation worse. "Your reaction to my 'death' was instrumental in convincing Dooku that I was dead."

"You could have told me afterwards then," Anakin contends stubbornly. "I would have understood. There was absolutely no reason for intentionally leaving me in the dark."

Yes, he's right. Obi-Wan had initially wanted to tell Anakin, but it was obvious that the Council, and Windu, in particular, hadn't been comfortable with anyone else knowing. But Obi-Wan still could have insisted, so why didn't he? He – he doesn't even know. He hasn't wanted to think about it. It was a bad situation. He didn't have a choice. Except he did. Why didn't he take it? Was it because he was afraid the Council would accuse him of being too attached to Anakin?

He doesn't even need to consider it. He knows that it's the truth. Even now, part of him is afraid that someone will view him as an unworthy Jedi, but he can't tell that to Anakin. He'll view it as yet another excuse, and it will enrage him even further. No, Obi-Wan has to tell him something else. Even if Anakin would be accepting of his words, he doesn't know if he wants to share something so intimately personal, especially not right now. The resulting rejection would be so much more acute, and he doesn't think he could bear it.

"I already told you it was safer," he says instead. Anakin only glares at him. "Anakin," Obi-Wan begins, using a tone he knows will make his former Padawan listen. "I know my actions hurt you greatly, and for that, I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Anakin echoes derisively. "Sorry doesn't change anything. It doesn't fix what you did."

"I know," he responds quietly. "Believe me, I know that, but I don't know what else I can do."

Apparently, Anakin doesn't either – not that Obi-Wan thought he did – because he seems to deflate. "If you pull something like that one more time, I will never speak to you again," he threatens, voice colder than ice.

Obi-Wan nods. He can't expect anything more, and to be honest, he's mildly surprised that Anakin hasn't tried to throw him out of the apartment yet. This conversation went much better than he thought it would, especially being that he knows Anakin has a way of holding grudges. Things aren't better; they're not even close to being fixed, and maybe they never will be. He can only take what he gets, so he'll be grateful for this small concession.

"I hope that someday you can forgive me," Obi-Wan finally tells him. He won't ask Anakin to forgive him, not right now, not when the wounds are still so fresh, though he hopes they can eventually move past it.

Anakin's jaw clenches, a sure sign that he's not happy with Obi-Wan's words. "Perhaps," he replies curtly. He gives Obi-Wan a searching look before exhaling. "Where's Ahsoka?" It's clearly an attempt to change the topic, and Obi-Wan is willing to let it go. They have nothing further to discuss anyways.

"She went to the Archives," Obi-Wan informs him.

Anakin nods stiffly. "Don't you have something to do other than stand there?" he blurts out seeming a bit uncomfortable.

That hurts much more than Obi-Wan wants to admit, but he supposes he probably deserves it. They never used to be like this; they used to spend time with one another without there ever being an awkward silence. "I suppose I have more reports to review," Obi-Wan grants. With a final nod, he leaves the apartment. As he walks away, he can't help but feel like something major has been irreparably lost.

***

Another mission. Obi-Wan couldn't have expected anything else, but he was surprised that the Chancellor wanted to speak with him personally. Usually, the information is passed along. Face-to-face meetings are extremely rare. In the several days since he talked to Anakin, they've only spoken twice, and both times were awkward. It saddens Obi-Wan to see the damage he caused, but now that they're being sent on another mission together, hopefully they can fall back into their usual camaraderie. He never thought he'd miss it.

He walks through the Senate halls, lost in thought as he mentally reviews the details of the newest assignment. It should be easy and quick, but as always, there's no guarantee. He almost misses the sound of someone calling his name. "Master Kenobi!" Obi-Wan stops, looking up to see Senator Amidala standing across the hall. She'd been talking to some other Senators, but the conversation is clearly concluded, as she strides over to him, smiling warmly.

"Senator Amidala," he greets her, bowing cordially. "It's good to see you."

"You as well," she replies, giving him a searching look. "What are you doing here in the Senate? I almost never see you here."

"The Chancellor wanted to speak to me," Obi-Wan informs her. "He wished to personally give me another assignment."

She raises a curious eyebrow. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning unfortunately," he answers with a sigh. "I shouldn't be surprised. With the war still in full swing, a week's break is almost too much to ask."

"That's not right," Padme asserts. "The Jedi are leading this war; they're fighting for the Republic. They deserve time to rest and recover."

Obi-Wan gives her a faint smile. "It is what it is, Senator," he murmurs.

"Well, I shouldn't keep you here then." She straightens. "You must have preparations to make."

He nods in silent agreement, glancing across the hall at two Senators who are speaking quietly with their aids. The atmosphere here has never made him feel terribly comfortable, possibly because he's never harbored any warm feelings towards politicians. Padme and Bail Organa are two of the most major exceptions.

"Before you leave," Padme continues, catching his eyes and holding them. "I want you to know that I'm so glad to see you alive. I was at your funeral, you know."

A sharp pang of regret stabs through his heart. He knew that she'd probably gone there because they'd been friends. He supposes that he ought to seek her forgiveness as well. The deception must have hurt her too. "I apologize for making you believe me to be dead." Right now, it's the best he can offer.

"It was necessary," the Senator assures him. "I understand."

Obi-Wan slowly exhales. "Can you forgive me for deceiving you?"

Padme purses her lips, a hint of defiant stubbornness in her brown eyes. In that moment, he can see why Anakin loves her so deeply. "Personally, I never held a grudge against you, Obi-Wan. I'm sure you know that." She pauses just long enough for him to hear a 'but.' As he suspected, she doesn't disappoint him. "But it's not me that has to forgive you." He knows what she'll say even before the words leave her mouth. "Anakin was the one who was really hurt, so I can forgive you for hurting me, but not for hurting him."

Obi-Wan is careful to keep his face impassive. He should have realized that she'd say that. "I understand, Senator." His voice is quiet and with a final nod, he turns to make his way out of the Senate. Padme doesn't stop him from leaving.

***

Morning finds Obi-Wan standing on the bridge of the Star Destroyer. He'd been up most of the night overseeing the final preparations and completing Council work which wouldn't be able to wait for the end of the mission. They've finally entered into hyperspace which will give him several hours of respite until they reach their destination. Shaking away his lingering thoughts, Obi-Wan turns to head to his quarters.

Before he reaches the exit, he spies Cody watching him. From the Commander's posture and the uncertainty which he's radiating into the Force, Obi-Wan gets the impression that he wants to say something but is hesitating. "Yes, Cody, what is it?"

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" Cody asks carefully.

"Speak. Tell me what's on your mind," Obi-Wan replies, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. Cody should know that he doesn't need permission to speak his mind unless it's something which he feels Obi-Wan won't like. That realization makes him wonder if he should have agreed so readily. Well, better to just get it over with.

"We're all glad to have you back, General," Cody tells him. "When we heard that you were dead, some of us were worried. You and General Skywalker have always been fair to us clones. You've treated us as equals, not lessers. The same cannot be said for some of the other Jedi."

No. He didn't want to deal with this again, but he should have expected it. Of everyone around him, Obi-Wan had least expected to hear something from Cody. It was never in his nature to speak his mind, especially pertaining to such matters. He hadn't actually thought about the situation like that, from the clones' viewpoints. What happened on Umbara has left scars in all of them, and Obi-Wan knows their trust in the Jedi has been shaken.

"I apologize for causing you trouble," he finally admits. "That was never my intention."

"I know, sir," Cody says immediately. "You were simply protecting the Chancellor."

Obi-Wan nods, taking a moment to look at the man he's fought with since the beginning of the war. Cody has become something of a friend to him, though they cannot consider each other as such due to the conflict and their ranks. Still, other than Padme, Satine, and Bail, Cody is probably one of his closest non-Jedi friends. Looking at him now, Obi-Wan can see a hint of tension. Cody understands, but he's still not happy.

"I have only this to say." Obi-Wan holds Cody's eyes, silently willing him to accept his words. "Speaking to you as a friend, not as a General, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I will not force you to forgive me, nor do I expect you to do so, but I hope that you can."

Cody opens his mouth but closes it again without saying again. Instead, he only offers a firm nod. It's not forgiveness, not yet. Obi-Wan isn't too surprised. Forgiveness for faking his death and making everyone mourn could hardly come overnight.

***

Obi-Wan finds himself able to breathe again when the mission is complete. All things considered, it went far better than he'd been expecting. In a few hours, they'll be heading back to Coruscant unless they receive a new assignment in the meantime, which is far more likely. Ahsoka seems far more relaxed than she was before; Anakin, on the other hand, is still showing signs of tension which he's trying to hide. He's making a valiant effort to pretend that everything is fine, but the jibes they exchanged were far too stiff, too unnatural.

It doesn't matter. This is war. They have to focus. The hurts will have to be hidden until later. It's not as though Obi-Wan can blame Anakin for his attitude. His thoughts are scattered when his commlink beeps. Frowning, he answers it, unsure who could be contacting him. He'd just spoken to Cody and his men less than half an hour ago. "Master Kenobi here," he states, eyes widening with surprise at the holographic figure which appears. Duchess Satine.

"I hope I'm not calling when you're busy." She doesn't sound too concerned, so Obi-Wan assumes she's contacting him for a reason. How did she get the frequency anyways? It's his personal one, and he knows he never gave it to her. With the war especially, they had no reason to remain in close communication.

"No, it's fine," he quickly assures her before inquiring curiously, "How did you get the frequency? Is everything alright?"

A slight smile ghosts across her lips before she presses them together firmly. "I talked to Senator Amidala the other day, and I asked her for it, because I wanted to talk to you."

The knowledge that she's alright brings him a measure of relief. He's not like Anakin; he won't rush into a relationship with someone, even – _especially not_ – Satine, though he does care for her. She deserves better than a secret relationship when they'd rarely see one another in person. Well, that's aside from his reluctance because of the Code.

"So, tell me, Duchess, what can I do for you?" Obi-Wan asks lightly, even as a dread creeps up to grip him. He's quite certain he knows why she's calling; he hasn't talked to since he faked his death, and she'll probably give him an earful about it now.

"We were friends, and you faked your death," she answers a bit sharply. "I expected you would have something to say to me afterwards. By now, you must have heard that I travelled to Coruscant from Mandalore to attend your funeral."

She's more than just a little upset. He can almost feel her irritation all the way from Mandalore. "I heard," he murmurs softly, "And Duchess, I did not intend to inconvenience you."

She huffs, obviously not appeased by his words. "You only did what you had to for the war you insist on fighting." There's a hint of mockery in her words, one which Obi-Wan can hardly miss. He knows very well that she isn't happy with the galactic war which is why she insists on remaining neutral.

"I did," he concedes slowly, "Though I must admit that the consequences have been worse than I'd anticipated." He doesn't know why he's telling her this, maybe because he desperately wants someone to know how he feels, and she's one of his closest friends.

"I cannot say that I'm surprised," Satine shoots back acerbically, "Especially if almost no one knew." In that moment, Obi-Wan realizes something that he'd missed before. She's hurt by his actions, and he's not entirely sure why. Is it because he deceived her when they've hardly spoken since their last meeting in person or is it because of something else? He doesn't know.

"Can – can you forgive me for what I did?" Obi-Wan inquires hesitantly, holding his breath as he waits for her to answer. He hopes – but no, she probably won't.

Satine is quiet for so long, Obi-Wan almost thinks that she didn't hear. She studies him, eyes scrutinizing him though she's light-years away. "Maybe someday," she tells him gently, "But not right now. I feel like you used our friendship." He opens his mouth to protest, but she keeps talking. "I know you couldn't have realistically told me the truth, but this is too big for me to forgive so quickly." She gives him a smile, and he feels it take the edge off the sting of rejection.

Obi-Wan can't bring himself to respond, so the silence drags on. "I'm sorry, Duchess. I don't know what else to say."

"You don't need to say anything, Master Kenobi," she assures him. "I understand your reasoning, and I will forgive you for your actions, but not just yet." Her words hang with a sense of finality, but he doesn't push her. It wouldn't do any good. Instead, he changes the topic, asking about her family and Mandalore as a whole.

***

Twenty-five years later, Obi-Wan can't help but wonder if faking his death was the final straw. It was definitely one of the worst mistakes he ever made, driving a wedge between him and his closest friends, however slight it may have been. Even though he's dead, it still hurts sometimes to know that he was never forgiven for his actions.

Satine was murdered before they had a chance to talk about it again, and then, with the end of the Republic, Padme died giving birth to her wonderful twins. After leaving Utapau, Obi-Wan never saw Cody again, so they certainly never spoke about forgiveness. Then there was Ahsoka. She was framed for a crime she never committed and left the Order. He didn't meet her again until the war was nearly over when everything was far too tense to speak of past hurts.

The one which is most painful is Anakin. Had Obi-Wan made a different choice, his brother in all but blood would have trusted him when the galaxy began unraveling. He wouldn't have turned to Palpatine for help. He wouldn't have Fallen. Of everything, that is what hurts Obi-Wan most. The knowledge that he could have saved Anakin – and the galaxy – has become a constant ache which never goes away. It's tormented him night and day since the moment he walked away from Anakin's body on Mustafar.

It's with sorrow that Obi-Wan watched as Anakin's life faded away. He'd done his best to ensure that his brother's ghost remain as a constant. If they couldn't be together in life, then at least they'll get that chance in death. While Luke mourns his father's death on Endor, Obi-Wan finds himself hovering nearby, trying to keep a distance between himself and Anakin. He doesn't want to talk to his brother just yet, doesn't want to face all his failings.

"Obi-Wan." Anakin's voice – metaphysical voice – draws his attention away from Luke and Leia.

No. He's not _ready_ yet. He turns anyways, letting Anakin's emotions wash over him. Worry. Fear. Guilt. Pain. "I failed you." His reply is numb, emotionless.

Every other emotion is suddenly overshadowed by shock. "What?" Anakin sounds completely confused. "Why would you think that? _I_ failed _you_ , Obi-Wan. I Fell to the Dark Side. I chose to join Sidious, even though I knew it was wrong. You can't possibly blame yourself for that."

"Because you didn't think you could trust me," Obi-Wan shoots back, turning all his attention on Anakin for the first time since his death. "If I hadn't faked my death and broken your trust in me, then you would have come to me." Hard though he tries, he can't quite keep all the pain out of his words. That Anakin didn't trust him when it was a matter of life and death hurt far more than anything else ever had. It was that moment when Obi-Wan realized exactly how monumental of a mistake he'd made.

And, just as he'd suspected, Anakin doesn't immediately deny the accusations. "What happened, wasn't solely your fault," he finally speaks. "Yes, I was wary about trusting you with my vision, but Sidious was manipulating how I felt. If he hadn't been interfering, I would have forgiven you for your actions long before the end of the war."

If Obi-Wan could breathe, he's certain he would have just stopped. "You – you forgive me?" he asks faintly. "I don't think I deserve that."

Anakin actually laughs. At him. "Master, of course, I forgive you. It happened a long time ago, and if anything, it should be me begging your forgiveness for what I've done. And for the record, you really shouldn't. After everything I've done, _I_ don't deserve it. You need to stop blaming yourself for my sins. Let me carry their weight alone."

Obi-Wan finds himself completely speechless at the words. He's wanted to hear them for so long, that he'd forgotten how freeing it would be. Finally, _finally_ he can let go of what he did. Yes, he'd hurt Anakin, and the galaxy paid for their broken friendship, but Anakin's forgiven him. It can now rest in the past where it should have been so many years ago. He knows he needs to say something – they have so much to discuss, after all – but he can't find the words.

Anakin seems to know how he's feeling, or maybe it's just that he's projecting his emotions too strongly. "We can talk later," his brother promises, "But now, I think we have a celebration to attend, yes?"

Obi-Wan senses something akin to a fleeting yet comforting touch on his shoulder and smiles. "Of course," he agrees easily, an overwhelming surge of love rushing through his body. Despite everything, he still loves Anakin and that will never change. Their history is long and complex, but it was also completely unique. He would never want to exchange Anakin's forgiveness for anyone else's.

He can never get forgiveness from Satine or Padme or Cody or Ahsoka – maybe he can if she's still alive. He's made peace with it though, because he's certain that, by now, they would have forgiven him, even if he can never hear their words. He'll never be able to get the same freedom from them that he got from his brother. But he has Anakin, and that – he decides – matters most.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this maybe consider reviewing or leaving kudos...? :)


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